Menopause & Major Weight Loss: The Hormonal Domino Effect
- Sonia McIndoe
- 5 days ago
- 9 min read
How My Patches & Pearls Gave Me Back Me After Weight Loss Surgery
Warning: I’m an advocate for HRT. My patches and pearls have truly given me, ME back.
For many women, midlife feels like a tug-of-war with our bodies. Perimenopause and menopause bring hormonal shifts that affect weight, mood, sleep, and energy. Add major weight loss into the mix, whether through bariatric surgery, medication, or sheer persistence, and suddenly your body feels like a stranger.
I know this first-hand. I first went on HRT at 38, using patches for a year. It regulated my cycle and gave me relief for a while. But after weight loss surgery at 45, the symptoms came back with a vengeance. My periods were erratic and unpredictable. I could be standing there and suddenly feel the warm gush and rush of blood. The embarrassment was relentless.
One unforgettable example: a flight to Melbourne. An hour in, my protection failed spectacularly. I spent most of the flight in the tiny toilet cubicle, washing out my dress, knickers, and even my shoes, then trying to dry them with paper towels.
Then came the hot flushes and night sweats. So severe that within minutes, my T-shirt would be dripping. I had to choose fabrics and colours carefully to hide the fact that I was soaked through so much of the time. Nights were worse. I’d wake drenched, changing pyjamas two or three times just to make it till morning.
I begged for a hysterectomy but was denied. A Mirena eventually stopped the bleeding, but not the other symptoms.
I’ve been at odds with my body for so much of my life that I don’t actually know what “normal” feels like. We’re all a unique blend of genetic, environmental, and emotional influences. In my case, addictions, ADHD, anxiety, and depression all tangled together. I blamed myself instead of understanding how much my hormones were driving the chaos. As a plus-sized woman, I dragged myself through life, weighed down physically, emotionally, and mentally.
After surgery, there was a “Tiggerish” period where I bounced through my days with energy I hadn’t felt in decades. But gradually I slipped into a foggy, clammy, exhausted state - more Eeyore than ever.
If you’ve ever felt the same, you’re not broken. Your body isn’t betraying you - it’s recalibrating.
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The Hormone Shifts of Menopause
Menopause isn’t just about periods stopping - it’s a recalibration of the whole system.
• Oestrogen decline: I noticed it first at my waistline. Jeans that once hung loose now pinched at the middle.
• Progesterone decline: Wide-awake at 2 a.m., mind racing, drenched in sweat. The next day, teary and foggy for no reason.
• Testosterone decline: I could feel myself losing strength and worried my muscles would melt away.
• Cortisol changes: The smallest stress tipped me into fight-or-flight. My nervous system felt like it lived in the orange or red zones, sometimes sliding into blue freeze mode.
• Insulin resistance: Sugar highs and crashes became more dramatic, and I found myself second-guessing every bite.
The turning point was going back on HRT - my patches and pearls. That combination was a game-changer. It didn’t erase everything, but it gave me stability and reminded me I didn’t have to accept “less than my optimal self.” Bonus: no more recurring UTIs and, to my surprise, a boost in libido.
Research Insight: Vasomotor symptoms (hot flushes, night sweats, flushing) affect up to 55% of women before menopause even begins and can last 5–10 years. These changes are linked to declining oestrogen sensitivity and serotonin regulation, which explains the sleep disruption, mood swings, and cravings that often follow.
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How Major Weight Loss Disrupts Hormones
When I had bariatric surgery at 45, I naively thought I’d feel free - that everything would be fixed. When the honeymoon phase ended, I was blindsided by another hormonal storm.
• Oestrogen: With the fat gone, my oestrogen dropped further. Menopause symptoms got louder, not quieter. Yay yay yay… not!
• Leptin: My hunger-regulating hormone plummeted, and food noise roared back. Just what I wanted… not!
• Ghrelin: My hunger hormone went wild, pulling me toward the fridge like a magnet. Well, I’m blaming that anyway!
• Thyroid: My metabolism slowed, even when I followed my plan I had to eat less, to maintain my ‘happy’ weight.
• Insulin: The cleaner I ate, the more severely I felt the effects of sugar crashes when I did indulge. It didn’t seem fair.
I truly believed weight loss would fix everything. Instead, I felt robbed of the energy and joy I thought I’d earned.
Research Insight: Rapid or major weight loss can accelerate hormonal shifts. Fat tissue produces oestrogen, so losing it can worsen vasomotor symptoms. Leptin and ghrelin disruption is also common, driving stronger hunger and cravings, which is why post-weight loss surgery menopause can feel even harder.
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The Flow-On Effects of Hormonal Imbalance
Mood & Emotional Regulation
There were times I barely recognised myself. My patience was thin, my tears constant, and my resilience gone. Oestrogen and serotonin are linked - when mine dipped, so did my mood. I maxed out my antidepressants and had to make sleep a non-negotiable to stay regulated. I felt like such a failure.
Research Insight: Declining oestrogen reduces serotonin activity, explaining why so many women experience low mood, anxiety, and irritability during menopause.
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Libido & Intimacy
Let’s talk about sex! Many women rediscover their sexuality after weight loss, but my desire flatlined. I felt overwhelmed - physically, emotionally, mentally. My love for my husband never wavered, but our mismatched libidos created distance.
What helped? Intentional intimacy. We scheduled connection nights so I could mentally prepare. It might sound unromantic, but it helped. (Yes - I even had a sticker chart!).
Still, my body didn’t always cooperate. Vaginal dryness, scars, and loose skin took a toll. Recognising these struggles as hormonal - not personal failings - gave me courage to talk openly and seek support. I went from hiding the truth to being able to share my soul with you in this blog.
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Energy & Motivation
There were mornings I woke up already tired. I blamed myself for not eating clean enough or being disciplined enough. The truth? My body was navigating hormone shifts I couldn’t white-knuckle my way through.
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Bone & Muscle Health
I’ve had to prioritise protein and resistance training. This isn’t about weight loss or looks - it’s about protecting my bones, my independence, and my freedom for the future. I use BN Healthy collagen and protein powders to supplement my 3 protein focused meals EVERYDAY - I know I’m hitting my protein goal easily. I can’t say the same for resistance exercises, but having my hand weights permanently in the lounge, is proof of my commitment. Hubby and I do a few sets most evenings while watching Netflix.
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Cognitive Function & Brain Fog
Brain fog humbled me. I could lose words mid-sentence or reread the same page repeatedly. For a while, I thought I was losing my marbles. Now I know it’s hormonal and it definitely doesn’t define me. Menopause brain is not that different to how pregnancy/baby brain was. I find it easier to laugh it off to myself with this mindset.
Research Insight: Brain fog is linked to disrupted sleep and declining oestrogen. Once vasomotor symptoms are treated, many women notice improved memory and focus.
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Why Cravings & Emotional Eating Intensify
Even with all my tools, the cravings came back hard … my sugar dragon is alive and well, and biting at the bit to get free and burn the place down .
• Dopamine dips had me chasing chocolate, shopping, or constantly scrolling.
• Leptin and ghrelin shifts made food noise louder.
• Stress and cortisol surges triggered survival eating.
Cravings aren’t about discipline - they’re about wiring. It still sucks to experience them, but I know I am in charge, not my sugar dragon!! (That’s a story for another day).
Research Insight: Night sweats and poor sleep raise cortisol and ghrelin while lowering leptin, making the brain more reactive to food cues and emotional eating.
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What Actually Helps
Through trial, error, and sheer persistence, I’ve found what makes the biggest difference:
• Protein-first nutrition - we know it, but do we religiously do it 3 meals a day, everyday? Protein is king - it’s essential for satiety and food noise.
• Strength training - it bores me, but it keeps me strong, stable, and safeguards my bones for my future self.
• Sleep hygiene - reduced caffeine and limit it to mornings only, cotton sheets, 100% cotton pyjamas, a cool room, and no late-night scrolling.
• Nervous system regulation - I love my Polyvagal practices, they are more than self care, they are a lifesaver.
• Mindset shifts - realising my body wasn’t broken; it was adapting. What a difference a positive mindset makes!!
• HRT - the true heroes of my story, my patches and pearls. They truly changed me inside and out and gave me, ME back.
• Real conversations - breaking the silence around libido, fatigue, and brain fog showed me I wasn’t alone.
Research Insight: HRT remains the most effective treatment for vasomotor symptoms. Combined with lifestyle habits like hydration, layering clothes, and stress regulation, it supports overall wellbeing.
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The Identity Shift Layer
Weight loss changed my body. Menopause changed it again. For years, I didn’t recognise the woman in the mirror.
The truth is, menopause plus major weight loss isn’t just a physical transformation - it’s an identity shift. It’s messy, confronting, and deeply human. But it’s also an invitation to redefine who you are.
I know now that my worth isn’t dictated by the number on the scales. It’s reflected in how I care for myself through every season.
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Closing Encouragement
Menopause and major weight loss don’t have to mean the end of energy, joy, or intimacy. With the right support and knowledge, you can balance your hormones, protect your strength, calm food noise, and reconnect with your body, mind, and soul.
I know because I’ve lived it, and I know you can too.
👉 Want support on this journey?
Join me in my free NOURISH Facebook group, explore more resources on mindempowerment.co.nz, or reach out about my coaching programmes. You don’t have to navigate this hormonal rollercoaster alone - there are strategies that work, and I’d love to share them with you.
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FAQs: Menopause, Weight Loss & Hormones
Does menopause make it harder to lose weight after surgery?
Yes. Hormonal changes like declining oestrogen and progesterone slow metabolism and increase fat storage around the middle.
Can HRT help with energy and mood after bariatric surgery?
Absolutely. HRT can stabilise mood, reduce fatigue, and make healthy habits easier to maintain.
Why do cravings increase during menopause?
Sleep loss and cortisol spikes raise ghrelin and lower leptin, intensifying cravings and emotional eating - especially post-surgery.
Join me for a free webinar!
So, I’ll leave you with a warm invitation to my 8 Fundamentals FREE webinar where I share my daily to-do list and how I actually manage my bariatric journey day by day.
It’s in an ‘hour of power’ where I squeeze a lot of valuable information for you into the 60 minutes on Zoom - totally for free.
Ready for more? Let's do the groundwork together in small group coaching via Zoom, so you can join from anywhere in New Zealand.
About Sonia McIndoe
Hi! I'm Sonia, a NZ Bariatric Life Coach, who has had weight loss surgery and maintained a 70kg weight loss for over a decade. I walk the walk and have dealt with my own regain by continuing to use and hone my own fundamentals and strategies, which I share with you. Like you, I struggled with my weight...
I actually struggled with my weight my entire life. At 5 years of age my ballet teacher told me “I danced like a baby elephant”. I yo-yo dieted my way to a body I loathed and had given up on. Food was my friend - but it was a love/hate relationship. In many ways it saved me, but it was also slowly killing me.
I wasn’t convinced even Weight Loss Surgery would work for me … why would it when nothing else had!
More than 10 years post Weight Loss Surgery later and still several dress sizes smaller, I am the happiest I have ever been.
You can have the success you dream of too. I am so passionate about sharing how, that I work full time as a Bariatric Coach.
I credit my Weight Loss Surgery with my 70kg weight loss, but keeping it off, I credit to doing the mind work. It’s this mind work that I teach in my Mind Empowerment coaching programmes.
The Mind Empowerment Programme
Sonia McIndoe's coaching programme is called Mind Empowerment and starts with a free one hour webinar, "The 8 Fundamentals for Bariatric Success".
The next stage is "Mind Empowerment" group coaching by Zoom, followed by Stay on Track.
One on one individual coaching is also available. Sonia coaches live via Zoom, so you can be anywhere in New Zealand and access help from her as your weight loss coach.
Find out more at www.mindempowerment.co.nz
